Ghost Sanctuary
by The Super Twins
Summary: Suffering from depression, being haunted by a ghost and stuck in therapy, is not Len's idea of fun, but when someone close to him dies, that's what happens. Now people think he's crazy, but not Miku, a the strange girl Len befriends who understands him. Now Len's life is about to change again as Miku tries to help him. But, Miku has her own deadly secrets which she plans to keep.
1. Chapter one

**~Author's Notes~ **

**I've always wanted to write about troubled teenagers and mental problems. Its always been quite intriguing to me ((I am a strange child)) but I guess the main motivation was the depression and sense of loss. I haven't personally been through that but a lot of people I'm close to have. So this story is going to all my friends who once selfhalmed! Yeah, this is kinda important to me, thats all really :)**

**((Plus the addition of ghosts because I couldn't resist))**

**/first chapter edited slightly to make flow better**

**Kushina Chan xox**

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

I mindlessly rubbed at the pink marks on my arm. Fresh and sore to touch. I bit my lip and winced as a new wave of pain spread across my flesh from where my hand contacted. I silently willed for the pain to go away but I knew it wouldn't. At the time I didn't care for all I wanted was a release from this madness I've found myself in. Now I regret it and feel sick with guilt. I told myself that I would stop. I guess with some habits you just can't.

"Why did you do it again?" My sister, Rin, asked. She sat opposite me on my bed. I knew she felt concerned about my self inflicted injuries. Once upon a time I would have gone to her for help, but once upon a time felt like an eternity ago.

I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't find the words I wanted to say. What was the point? She knew why anyway.

Rin reached out and softly brushed my new found scars with her fingertips. Her ghostly complexion was smooth and perfect looking in comparison to my ugly scars. I looked up at her questioning gaze. I hated how she would look at me as if she was tearing the contents of my soul apart. Her eyes were as cold as frost and ringed with red as if she had been crying even though she hadn't. She showed no signs of emotions, not even worry. Even that never-ending sadness was now gone.

"Tell me why, Len," she whispered.

I scowled and jerked my arm away from her cold touch. I didn't want to be intoxicated by her, "You know why I did it. You always know!"

Rin shook her head, her blonde bob swayed. "I don't know why, Len."

"It's all your fault! Your fault!" I sniffed and looked at my scars. I knew she understood why I was going through this pain and mental confusion. I mean, wouldn't anybody act the same in my position?

"But Len, you know what the consequences are," she said quietly.

"Consequences? Consequences somebody ignored! Unlike some people, I value my life; just because I cut doesn't mean I want to die," I snarled in bitter disgust.

Rin went quiet. Her expression hardened as she stared at me in silence with her eyes wide and twitching. Now she showed emotion.

"Rin?" I huffed, "Fine, give me the fucking silent treatment. See if I care."

She stayed silent and stared at me. She was good at this, always going silent and refusing to talk like she had selective mutism. A hint of wrath bubbled behind her eyes. Her soul was filled with anger, anger that was now directed at me. I didn't care though. She was being such a hypocrite.

We stared at each other as if we were having a stare-off. A loud banging then vibrated through my bedroom door, breaking me out of my trance. I yelped and felt my body jolt in shock. Lately I had gotten quite jumpy at everything that happened. Rin, however, stayed still, like a rock.

"Len sweetie?" I heard our mother's voice muffled through the door. I licked my lips and pulled my sleeves down to hide my scars.

"Yes mum?" I answered back, my gaze was now locked onto Rin again. She stayed silent.

Mum opened the door a crack and peered inside, "I heard voices, I didn't know you had guests around,"

Even though I wasn't looking at her, I could feel mum's short term happiness about me being more social. She liked me interacting with people. I kept my eyes on Rin and waited for the realisation to sink in. I could already feel the sadness of mum's aura before she spoke.

"Oh... There's no one else here..." Her voice wobbled slightly, "Who were you talking to sweetie?"

I blinked at Rin, rolled my shoulders back until they clicked and then turned around. My mother's arms quivered and a forced smile had been sketched onto her face. Her once luscious hair now fell limp around her shoulders like she hadn't yet washed it. She looked like a nervous wreck.

I didn't know really what to say. At that moment my mind was blank and void of all thought. What could I have said anyway? So I just said the truth.

"I was talking to Rin," I replied eventually.

A sparkle of a tear formed in my mother's eye. "Sweetie," she paused to sniff, "you know Rin is dead..." Her voice grew quiet as she looked at me sadly.

I turned back to face my sister. I bit my lip hard enough to make it bleed and hugged my knees to my chest.

"I know mum."

The space in front of me was now empty. Rin had left me to go back to where ever the hell restless spirits of the dead lived.

"I know"

My mother stayed silent. I stayed silent, staring at the empty space again. I heard the shuffle of feet and then finally the click of the door closing. Now my mother was gone and I was alone. It felt like my mother had given up hope on me, and thinking about that hurt me more. I was just another banjaxed child. I was broken beyond repair. Subconsciously, I scratched at the cuts on my arms and welcomed a new fresh wave of pain. As tears prickled in the corners of my eyes, I curled up in a foetus position and clenched my arms to my chest.

"Why Rin?" I muttered, knowing that the reply would come. There never was. As expected, a silence followed only torn apart by my quiet sobbing.

Rin was gone for now, but fate knew she would return one way or another. Whether I could see her or not, she was always there. Always watching. Always haunting.

* * *

**So, Len cuts, Rin is dead, and their mother has lost all hope. The question is WHY?**


	2. Chapter Two

CHAPTER TWO

I hate the mornings. My mother and I don't communicate as much anymore. Not since the death of Rin. Now our house just seemed empty, only filled with air so think with sadness it chokes me and I feel like I can't breathe. I was all alone in the kitchen. The only sound was my breathing and the ticking of the clock. Not even the birds were out and singing; I really was alone. I remembered the times when our family used to sit together and eat. Mum used to make us croissants for breakfast and we'd eat them with many different flavours of jam. Rin, however, always liked to eat her croissants with peanut butter. It was her favourite but the idea of peanut butter with the delicious Viennoiserie bread rolls made me want to vomit. My mother had always questioned Rin's strange tastes in food and blamed it on our father's genes. I smiled sadly at the tender memories. The four of us used to be so happy but now all that was left was my mother and I. Even since our dad had left us, nothing had been the same.

I sighed and stared at the empty bowl in front of me. I contemplated whether I should eat or not. The box of cereal was only a hand's length away from me. It didn't take much effort to reach over and pour cereal into a bowl. I leant back on my chair and balanced it on the two back legs. I let my hands hang limply at my side while I looked up at the ceiling, tracing all the cracks and water marks with my eyes. I didn't feel hungry. So that was my mind made up. I shifted my weight forward so the front legs of my chair collided with the tiled floor with a thud. I got out of my chair and snatched up the box of cereal, ready to put it back in the cupboard.

"Anorexic," a voice whispered harshly. I didn't need to turn around to figure out that Rin had now decided to join me.

I took a deep breath and counted to ten in my head to calm myself down before replying. "Who? Me? I'm not anorexic, what on Earth are you talking about?" I spat out the words, my voice sickly sweet to emphasise my annoyance.

"Who? Oh wait, yeah, you're the anorexic one," Rin spat back, mocking me.

My body went stiff and the palms of my hands hurt from my fingernails digging into them because of my clenched fists. "Who are you to call me anorexic?" I spun round and looked Rin in the eye as if I was challenging her. Despite the venom in her voice her expression was calm, near enough vacant of all emotion. She sat in the chair next to mine. It was her chair, always had been even after her death. She lay back in the chair, almost like she was taking some time to relax, yet her gaze was locked into mine. It felt intimidating to have her cold eyes on mine but I wasn't going to let that show.

She stared at me in silence as I waited for her reply. Never once did she more her eyes off more and not once did she blink. I could feel my eyes start to tear up from staring at her too long. Rin rubbed her chin, the way she always did when she was thinking, and said, "Well, you don't eat much anymore. You never eat breakfast and you skip out on lunch. Also, when it comes to dinner, you leave a lot of food. You waste all that food that mum spent preparing for you."

I screwed up my face, knowing that she was right. Maybe I was anorexic? Who knew? It was just another thing my therapist would pester me one.

"Well," I muttered. I was going to justify my actions to prove to Rin, but also to myself that I was all right and not anorexic. "Mmmm, I don't like eating in the mornings and I prefer to snack during they day then eat Lunch..." I could hear my own voice trail off at how ridiculous the excuse sounded.

"That's a lie. Remember, we used to eat croissants in the morning?" Rin pointed out.

The croissants. I loved waking up in the morning knowing that they would be downstairs, piping hot and ready to eat. That was when we were still a family because now things were different. I rolled my shoulders back and murmured, "But I'm not anorexic, just because I don't eat much. It's not like I want to be really thin," I glanced down at my wrists. They were both scarred and thin. I knew I was underweight but I had been before Rin's death so it didn't make much difference.

"A-N-O-R-E-X-I-C", Rin hissed the individual letters that spelt out the word anorexic. I hated it how she did that. It was a horrible habit that she had picked up from those chavy friends of hers.

I slammed the box of cereal hard on the table, "For fuck's sake, I am not anorexic!" I said. Then to prove my point, I poured lots of cereal into the empty bowl in front of me. I piled the cereal up so high that it formed a miniature mountain that reached over the rim of the bowl. I then poured the milk. It sloshed and spilt over the side of the bowl from my carelessness.

I started to cram the food into my mouth. I put as much food into my mouth that I could and started to chew. I grimaced and covered my mouth with my hands. I couldn't chew the cereal without keep my mouth closed so instead I used my hand as a cover so Rin wouldn't have to see the crap in my mouth. I swallowed eventually and looked over at Rin. She just sat with her elbows on the tables and her head leaning against her hands, watching me. I took another mouthful of the cereal and another and another. It made me feel sick. Vomit bubbled up in my throat. My eyes started to tear up once more and before I could even consider getting up to dash to the bathroom, I threw up over the floor.

I buried my face in my hands. My whole body was shaking. I felt like such an idiot. I could feel Rin's mocking glare from behind me. I couldn't bring my self to look at her.

"Len, are you ready for school yet?" My mum called out from the sitting room. when I didn't reply she made her way to the kitchen. "Len, I asked if-" she stopped in mid sentence when she saw the mess I was in.

"Len, sweetie." She rushed over towards me and knelt down so her face was level with mine, "Len, are you alright?"

I shook my head without moving my hands from my face. The tears dripped down my face. I didn't want my mum to see me in my fragile state. Mum gripped my wrists and pulled them away from my face. She paused to look at my scars but didn't say anything. Instead she pulled me into a hug and held onto me tightly.

"Len, I know you haven't been eating much lately. Its not a good idea to eat a lot of food in one go, it'll make you sick," she said calmly in her soothing tone of voice. I had already discovered that fact on my own by throwing up all over the floor.

Mum then gripped my face, "Len? Look at me sweetie." I looked at her. "Just stick with small amounts of food for now okay? That way you can get used to eating again."

I nodded, "Okay, mum."

She smiled sweetly, but I knew that she was trying to be strong for me. She didn't want to break down because she knew she was all I had left. She was my pillar to keep me up.

"Now, I'm going to clean up this mess," she gestured to the sick, "And you go and have a shower. Do you think your well enough to go to school?"

"Yes mum, I'm fine. I need to go to school I can't miss is just because I was sick," I said.

"That's the spirit." Mum gently grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet, "Go on, go get a shower now sweetie."

I smiled and nodded again. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands before leaving the room. Rin followed me closely; I could feel her presence just behind me.

"I was wrong," she whispered as I climbed the stairs, "You're not anorexic. You're bulimic."

"I'm not listening", I said as I walked into the bathroom, I shut the door on her face, but Rin just walked through it. "Piss off, I want to take a shower! I would like my privacy!"

"I would like my privacy what?" She asked.

"I would like my privacy please," I moaned.

Rin did a twirl before floating backwards through the door. "See you at school," her voice echoed in my head.

I bit my lip then sank down onto the floor. I was a complete wreck. My life was just getting worse every second. The words bulimic and anorexia imprinted in my mind. I knew I wasn't either because I had no desire to be skinny or ultra thin. What I desired was my old life back. Before dad had gone. Before Rin had died. Before I started cutting. That was what I desired. I knew I couldn't get it back because you can't raise the dead. I didn't believe in magic, I still didn't even after seeing Rin as a ghost. I screwed up my face a took a deep breath in. I held my breath for a couple of seconds before breathing out again. No matter how much I wished for my life to go back to being happy and okay, I knew it couldn't. Not when I was in this mess. Mum was doing everything she could to help me, but nothing she did worked. I was the problem. I always was the problem. I just didn't know how to change that.

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**~Author!s notes~**

**Hey, I know I usually put 'author notes at the beginning, but I think it makes more sense to have it at the end so I don't spoil the chapter. I'm going to try and update this regularly since I'm bad at that. Also, as it hasn't been mentioned, Len's mother is Sweet Ann (maybe that's why she calls him sweetie I dunno) but his dad is unnamed so far. I need to get Miku in this soon since she is meant to be a main character... -3- Well I hope you enjoy the chapter! Please review! Thanks!**

**Kushina chan**

**Xox**


	3. Chapter Three

**~Author's Notes~**

**The chapters kept getting longer... I hope you don't mind that. **

**So yeah, just the next chapter. I hope you enjoy :)**

**EDIT: I've gone through and fixed the spelling mistakes along with adding a few more sentences to make the flow better.**

**Kushina chan**

**xox**

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CHAPTER THREE

I did't live that close to school. It took me about twenty-five minutes to get to school if I walked at a fast pace, but generally I just dawdled along and today was no different. I yawned as I made my way down the path towards the bottom of the road. I couldn't see any students yet so that probably meant I was slightly late. I sighed. What did it matter really if I was five minutes late? At least I would be in time for lessons.

I reached the bottom of the road. A small roundabout sat in between a three way conjunction. As I stood on the corner of the path and waited for the traffic to go by, I saw this girl.

I stared at her from across the street. She must have been a year or so older then me but her attire suggested something of a younger girl. Her hair was teal in colour and tied up into matching twin ponytails. Twins. Just the thought made me shudder. I glanced at Rin from the corner of my eye then looked aback at this girl. Her ponytails were held into place by pink lacy bows. She was also dressed head to toe in pink and white. Her pink dress had a bell shaped skirt swung from side to side as the girl swayed gently. Not only that but, it too, was covered in lace that decorated the dress with elaborate swirls and flowers. Her socks were white and knee high while on her feet were rose pink Mary Jane platform shoes. She looked just like a doll.

I stared at this strange girl from across the street. I didn't think she had noticed me until she lifted up her hand and waved at me. I checked my surroundings to make sure she had in fact meant that wave for me. The only people currently standing at the bottom of my street was her and me. So who else had she been waving to? I lifted my hand into the air and waved slightly.

The girl beamed and clasped her hands together. She looked really happy that I had waved back. I furrowed my brow. She just cocked her head to the side slightly, still smiling.

"Hey Mister," she called, "There're no cars any more silly! You can cross the road!"

I didn't know what shocked me more, an odd girl I had never met before was talking to me or that I was so stupid to not notice the empty road in front of me.

With my face a pale shade of red, I crossed the road towards where the girl stood.

"Good morning Mister!" The girl chimed delightfully.

"Um, good morning... " I knew I was late to school but I instead of continuing on my way, I just stood there staring at this girl. Now we stood face to face I could see her more closely. She was quite a beautiful girl. Her eyes were large and had the most gorgeous colour I had ever seen. They were a beautiful teal colour with a mixture of blues and greens of all shades. Even though I saw the bight splashes of pink across her cheeks and around her eyes, it didn't disguise her beauty shining through.

I could feel Rin close to me as she too inspected the girl.

"Quite pretty, isn't she, Len?" I choose to ignore her rather then make a fool of myself.

"You don't sound so happy this morning, Mister," the girl leant forward and looked down at me. Dammit she was taller me, I hated being short. The girl also noticed that I was shorter. "Hey Mister! You're shorter then me! You must be really really small!"

"Yeah yeah, I know I'm short," I scowled, "Sorry, but I really hafta go to school now."

The girl smiled sweetly. Her smile was as beautiful as her eyes. "Then may I accompany you to school, Mister?" She asked.

I shrugged, "I guess so."

The girl clapped her hands and said, "Then let us be on our way!" She skipped away from me in the direction of my school. I rolled my eyes and jogged to keep up with her.

After I caught up, the girl slowed her pace so she could walk beside me. When she walked she had a hop to her step, showing her happy mood. Meanwhile, I in comparison just shuffled along looking as miserable as ever.

"So um... What's your name?" It sounded really lame when I asked her but I was uncomfortable with the silence between us.

The girl tutted and wagged a finger at me. I didn't know whether I felt angry at the time or just more worried that I had generally just did something wrong. The girl giggled at my confusion, "A gentleman is meant to tell a woman his own name before he asks for hers. It's polite!"

"Oh I'm sorry," I generally felt ashamed of myself, "I'm Len, Len Kagamine. You are?"

"Hello Mister Len, my name is Sakura!"

"No surname?"

"Just Sakura!"

I couldn't help but smile. There was just something almost magical about this girl. I didn't know if it was because she looked cute or if it was because she was generally being nice to me, but I really liked her.

"Do you like my dress, Mister Len?" Sakura asked. She twirled around like she wanted to show it off some more.

I rubbed the back of my neck, "I guess it's nice," I refrained from saying it looked like something a three year old would wear.

Sakura giggle again, "It's called sweet Lolita! A type of Japanese street fashion! Isn't it so cute!"

It felt like a several million needles stabbed my heart at once. Rin just hovered beside me. She didn't say a word and I didn't expect her to in all honesty. I stopped walking. Sakura continued to skip on ahead until she realised she was speaking to thin air. She spun around and ran back over to me. My stomach twisted into knots with each step closer. Rin had told me about the Lolita fashion. She had said she always wanted to wear it because it was pretty. Rin never was ever going to be able to wear these cute clothes ever and now this girl in front of me was wearing it.

"Mister Len? Hey Mister-"

"Please don't, Sakura. May I... May I just walk alone from now... I need to think." Part of my clawed at the inside of my skull. I want to walk to school with this Sakura chick and I wanted to continue talking with her, but now, whenever I looked at her, one thought crossed my mind. Rin.

Rin. Rin. Rin. Rin was dead.

"But-"

"For God's sake! Please, Sakura!" I yelled.

Sakura looked shocked. She stuck out her bottom lip. Sparkling tears had also formed in the corner of her eyes. I cursed myself for my stupidity! I had finally gotten talking so somebody, and a girl at that, and then I ruined it. I ruined everything. I was such a fool.

"I'm really sorry, Sakura. I didn't mean to yell..." My voice trailed off as I watched tears drip down Sakura's eyes. I figured this girl must be quite simple. She had to be older then me as her body was well proportioned and quite mature yet her attitude was like a young child who was in primary school. She looked down at her feet.

"Good bye, Mister Len," and with that she left. I watched as she ran away back in the direction we were heading from. I wanted to shout something after the distressed girl but I felt my self shatter again and my mind felt void of all words to say. Rin took a few step forwards and also watched Sakura run away.

"I liked her dress," was all Rin said. No snarky comment just four simple words that made my world crash. Rin looked at me. I could tell she also felt sad. Her skin was paler then usual and her eyes dead. She said nothing else. I couldn't say anything either. I just felt so ashamed of my self from making a young girl cried.

"I'm going to continue going to school now."

Rin nodded then drifted over to where I stood. We then continued to walk together in a sorrowful silence.

* * *

My morning never did get better. I ended up being very late to school, about a quarter of an hour late which ended up with me having early morning detention next week. I then forgot some homework which resulted in a break time detention. Also there was the constant nagging of Rin's friends.

When Rin was alive the both of us had been quite popular. I hung around great guys. We were complete idiots and the class clowns but then we were guys after all, how else did you expect us to act. I was well liked too. Many people had said I was really funny but also polite. Now that I suffered from depression, my reputation had crumbled around me. Meanwhile, I was unsure whether Rin's reputation thrived or had also crumbled with mine. Most people still thought of her as one of those plastic girls that she had been friends with. She was still thought of as smart but everywhere I went I could hear people whisper about her. _Hey did you hear about that girl who died? That girl who died, I heard she slept around. People are saying that Rin was a slut, do you think that was true? Rin always had the most horrendous of fake tans. I know Rin was smart and all, but I heard she played dumb to get guy's to help her. Rin is as plastic as a barbie doll_. It seemed like now that she was dead, everyone took the chance to bitch about her. Maybe they already bitched about her before and I was just to blind to notice.

I hated it. Rin had been such a kind girl, but when she had been taken in by the plastics everything had changed. I despised Rin's so called friends with a passion. I had always warned Rin that she shouldn't hang around with the school bitches but she did so anyway. Her best friend, Gumi, tore Rin apart and forced her in becoming something she never wanted to be. She ruined my sister, yet she blamed me for it.

Gumi and I never really saw eye to eye, but we both tried to get along when Rin was there. In reality I hated Gumi more then Rin's other friends. Gumi was a selfish bitch that was as fake as they came. She was mean and horrible and bullied anybody that didn't look or act the way she did. Most people in the school didn't like her, only the small circle of close friends that stuck to her like glue actually cared for her at all. Or maybe even they didn't care for her. It wouldn't have surprised me but she still acted as the school queen. She truly thought that she was well liked. At least there was one thing I had over her, and that didn't include my much better taste in music. I had brains. I wondered how the fuck that idiot even had a brain? How on Earth was her entire head not crushed by then tonnes of make-up on her face? I guess no matter how smart I was, some things would remain a mystery.

As soon as I set one foot into the school grounds, I was prepared for insult after insult. It was in science when the bitching started today.

"Oh look what the cat brought in," Gumi sneered as we stood outside our class rooms. Unfortunately, her class room was just opposite mine.

"It's nice to know you are calling yourself a dead mouse. I'm sure you look like one under all that make up," I replied automatically. Before Rin's death, I had always avoided conflicts, now was a different matter. I guess being the grumpy shit I had turned into, I rather enjoyed arguing.

"I was referring to you idiot," Gumi said as she he crossed her arms.

"Come up with something original next time. You obviously do not have a vast vocabulary like I do,"

Gumi was about to retort until Piko stepped in. Piko was my best friend, unlike Gumi he was actually a trust worthy best friend. Piko and I always hung out, but after Rin's death that stopped. I became withdrawn in on myself. I was no longer the class clown, instead I focused on my school work. We stopped hanging about outside of school too. It was almost as if I was scared of the outside world. I was scared of it tearing me apart like it had for Rin. Even though I didn't hang round with Piko much anymore, I still usually confided with him about my problems through text or e-mail.

"Whoa ladies!" Piko said, "No need for a cat fight." A few laughs rippled through the surrounding crowd.

Luckily my science teacher came to the rescue just in time to stop a fight from brewing. I flashed Gumi a smirk before I walked into class.

Though science wasn't much better. I knew people whispered about me behind my back. They all thought I was pretty insane too. I mean, I was the Emo kid that sat in silence in class and kept to myself. However, there would be the occasion when I would appear to continuously stare at random people or snigger and sometimes even have a full laughing fit. People would shoot me strange looks but whatever. It wasn't them I would be looking at though, but Rin as she danced about the class rooms, though the windows and walls and even the students. But today was different. The two of us hadn't said a word to each other since meeting Sakura. I wished I had never seen that girl now. Just thinking about her made a chasm of guilt open inside me. I had been so horrible to her when she had only been trying to be nice to me.

I fiddled with my pencil sharpener. I could easily take the blade out. I thought about the tiny blade being dragged across my skin. It wouldn't be that hard to do it. Just one cut...

* * *

**~Author's Notes~**

**I'm sorry for leaving it at a sort of cliffhanger, I hope you guys think the ending is okay. Meh.**

**So I've finally introduced Miku, or wait! Is it Sakura? Maybe Sakura Miku? All will be revealed! And I hope you guys are okay with Gumi being a Bitch and all. I had to edit this chapter a lot because of the swearing being way too vulgar for the likes of FanFiction. Besides this fanfic is only T rated so I had to tune down the swearing...**

**Also I was told that America didn't have roundabouts... This story is gonna be set in the UK because that's where I am from.**

**Goodbye for now!**

**Kushina chan**

**xox**


	4. Chapter Four

**~Author's Notes~**

**I don't usually post chapters up this quickly but I already had this saved to my iPad because it was going to be for chapter 3 but I thought I need to explain what it was like for Len at school a bit more and if I kept this bit in, the chapter would become over 4000 words long which I didn't want.**

**Also, I found out yesterday that a good friend of mine actually has Dissociative Identity Disorder or DID for short (previously called Multiple Personality Disorder which is how most people know it as). I've just never met his 'other self'. I thought that was quite interesting.**

**I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!**

**Kushina chan  
xox**

* * *

CHAPTER FOUR

The bell soon rang for lunch time. Students filed out of their classrooms, ready to go to the canteen and relax or head up to the large Astro Turf to play a quick game of footie. I remembered when I used to play sports up there. One of the guys would bring a football and we'd kick it around having fun. Used to. Instead, I just made my way to the school library. I hated school everything about school. Other people claimed they hated it too but I always saw them sitting with big groups of friends, laughing and having a good time. I was once like that but lately I had just become withdrawn into myself. I became quite in class and retreated to the quite spot of the library at break time. In the rowdiness of the school grounds, the library was like a sort of sanctuary where I could come in peace.

I creaked open the door of the library. The librarian looked up as I entered. She nodded in my direction as a sort of hello. I managed a half smile in return.

"Hey Miss, is it okay if I do my homework here?" I asked.

"Go ahead, dear," She said as she smiled sweetly at me. I, again, managed a half smile, then made my way to my usual corner. There wasn't much students here today. Usually the island of computers in the middle of the room would be full but as the sun was bright and shining, everyone was outside.

I sighed and dumped my bag on a chair and sat down in the chair next to it. In the tiny alcove I sat in, chairs were pushed up against the wall to form a 'c' shape. They were quite low to the ground and, instead of being the common school plastic chairs, they were fabric with a soft, plush seat that were placed together to form mini sofas. I guess the reason I liked it here was because it was comfy and I could relax.

I took off my shoes and, after hiding them under the chair I was sitting on, lifted each leg up onto the chair. I pulled out a book from my bag. It was called _Linger_ by Maggie Stiefvater, the sequel to the the werewolf book _Shiver_. Rin had always said _Shiver_ was one of her favourite books so I took it upon myself to read it even though I wasn't a fan of werewolf romances, but the book was actually okay. It was a good enough read to pick up the sequel. I opened the book and flicked through the pages until I found the one with the bent corner. I unbent it and started to read. Ever since my depression started, I found an escape in books and into the imaginary worlds they created. I subconsciously rubbed my arm. In the end, I hadn't used my pencil sharpener to cut myself. It was too risky to do so in class and I would only get blood on my shirt. Instead I went ahead and stabbed myself multiple times with a pencil. It wasn't sharp, even though I had a pencil sharpener, but it still really hurt. I flexed my sore hand as I turned the page of my book. So much for homework. I could feel Rin's presence close to me. Just like the title of the book, Rin lingered over my shoulder reading the book as I read it. She smiled. She actually smiled.

"Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified or EDNOS for short,"

Rin's and my heads shot up from the book to see Piko hovering in front of us. I raised an eyebrow. I had no idea what he was talking about and the fact he was in the library confused me even more. Piko hated books and always complained about the library, so it was strange to see him standing in front of me. Piko came and sat by me in the space where Rin had been. Rin stuck out her tongue at Piko the disappeared through the wall behind us.

"Its a good thing I have Internet on my phone," Piko said as handed me his phone so I could look at it. I put my book down on the other side of me and took Piko's phone.

I wanted to say something about the school had computers which the students were allowed to use freely, like the small island of computers that stood in the middle of the library. I decided it was best if I stayed quiet about that and moved on to the subject at hand.

"What kind of an eating disorder is that?" I questioned as I looked at the Wikipedia page that was loaded on Piko's phone.

"Just read," Piko said. He cracked his knuckles one by one as he pulled on each finger individually. I cringed at the sound. I really hate the sound of people cracking their knuckles, so I choose to ignore it and focus on the web page.

I read the page slowly while Piko watched me. I could then feel his breath in my ear as he leaned over my shoulder to look at the web page too, like Rin had done earlier when I was reading the book.

"But it says Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified is just like Anorexia and Bulimia," I huffed and handed back the phone. "I don't understand the difference."

Piko sighed. He leant backwards with an arm draped across the back of the mini sofa, crossed one leg over the other and, when he finally looked comfortable, he began to read from his phone.

"It says here that, 'It is not meant to say you do not have Anorexia or Bulimia. This is a clinical category of disordered eating meant for those who suffer but do not meet all the diagnostic criteria for another specific disorder.' It also mentions," Piko said quickly so then I would have no time to protest, "'An individual of normal body weight who regularly engages in inappropriate compensatory behaviour after eating small amounts of food, eg, self-induced vomiting after the consumption of two cookies.'"

Piko took a deep breath in, then breathed out through the 'o' shape he created with his lips. Scratching his head, he turned to look at me. He didn't say anything, but the look in his eyes said something like there-is-no-point-in-arguing-you-know-I'm-right.

I huffed again and looked at the floor, examining the criss-cross patterns on the carpet.

"Nice carpet eh?" Piko said as he nudged my leg with his foot to get my attention.

I shrugged but didn't move my gaze from the floor. I heard Piko mutter something under his breath, though I couldn't make out what he had said.

"Oi, bone head?" He decided to kick me to get my attention.

"Ow!" I yelped. I shot him a glare then proceeded to rub my knee, "That hurt you bastard."

"Bloody hell did it. I didn't kick you that hard." He smirked at me as I flipped him the bird.

"But seriously, Len," Piko's tone of voice was serious now, "You should ask your therapist or doctor about this. They may be able to help."

When I gave no response, Piko said, "Len, I'm being serious. I care for you bro. I don't want to see you like this."

I bit my lip and looked at Pico from the corner of my eye. He did look really concerned for my well being. I managed a small smile, "Thanks mate," I said.

Piko smiled too, "No problem," he looked like he was about to say something else but someone stopped him.

"I do hope that's not a phone, boys," the two of us looked up to see Mr. Hiyama. He seemed to be carry many maths text books in his hands but he didn't look like he was struggling the weight. He raised an eyebrow and his brown eyes stared at us from behind his rectangular glasses.

Piko looked at the phone that he was holding, "Er..."

"I don't want to see that out again, okay? I don't like to confiscate phones because I know you kids need them and all," he said.

Piko pocketed his phone, "yes sir" he muttered.

Mr. Hiyama smiled at us, "That's good then. I don't want to take away your source of entertainment during boring maths lessons. Even I play a sneaky game of Angry Birds sometimes. Great fun."

Piko and I grinned as Mr. Hiyama gave us a nod. What he said was quite ironic considering he was a maths teacher himself, but maths was never boring with him as a teacher because he always managed to make things fun. He'd even join in with our jokes and start up the weirdest conversations. There was never a dull moment with Mr. Hiyama.

Mr. Hiyama shifted the weight of the books he was carrying so he could open the door. Piko immediately leapt up from his seat and opened the door for Mr. Hiyama. Mr. Hiyama thanked Piko for his politeness and made his way down the corridor. I laughed as Piko gave a slight bow. Piko acted like such a gentleman despite being slightly sick minded like me. This was why I liked Piko, he was just such a great guy to hang about.

Piko smiled, "Well, I'm going to go back to play some footie now. We don't have that much time left for lunch.," he gestured to the clock behind me. I swivelled around to check the time. He was right. There was only about fifteen or so minutes left for lunch.

Piko strolled over to get his bag, "The guys are probably wandering where I am. See ya," he turned around to leave. "Oh yeah," he stopped to face me like he had forgotten to tell me something important, "You visiting your therapist after school right?"

I shook my head, "I'll see her tomorrow."

Piko shrugged, "Okay, oh and go eat something!" he said. he chucked something at me which I managed to catch to my surprise. "Got to dash then," and then he was gone.

I sighed. I hated therapy, I would rather sit at home and play video games like a shooting or killing game to vent my frustration or do something else interesting to pass the time, like read. I looked over at my book then looked at what Piko had thrown at me. In my hand was a shiny £2 coin. So Piko wanted me to buy food. I glanced back up at the clock. I had time but could I really be bothered?

"You know you should," Rin pointed out.

I waved my hand through her face because it annoyed her and said, "Yeah yeah, I know." I received a weird look from the librarian but I just shrugged it off and grabbed my rucksack, slinging it over my shoulder. So, to the canteen then. I followed Piko out the library. He had already disappeared which left the corridor was empty. I sighed and started to make my way to the canteen. When I turned the corner, I realised that the corridor was not actually empty because there were still two other people in it. One was a blue haired guy who was also dressed in blue too while the other was a brunette girl wearing grey and red. They were sitting on the floor, huddled up by the radiator. They're bags were just chucked across the floor as they sat together with they're legs spread out and blocking my way. Neither of them had noticed me standing there.

"Excuse me?" They both looked up at me. The blue haired guy started to tug at the black scarf that hung loosely around his neck while the girl started to fiddle with the edge of the thick grey jumper she was wearing. The fact they wore their own clothes and not uniform, I figured that they were in Post 16, whether they were in yr. 12 or yr. 13 didn't matter, they weren't meant to be hanging out in the corridor. They should have been in the Post 16 common room.

"What?" The brunette girl spat. She scowled at me as I awkwardly stood there. She had what appeared to be something that resembled a pencil lead in her mouth. It looked like one of the leads you got from a mechanical pencil and judging by the black smudges on her red lips, I presumed I was correct about it being lead.

"What you staring at idiot?" She sounded really annoyed at me. As I struggled for words, she scowled which caused the lead in her mouth to snap. Looking down, she saw the broken lead that had fallen into her lap. My eyes followed too. She wore a really short red skirt, so short in fact that you could see the majority of her thighs, it didn't leave much to the imagination. I felt my own eyes widen and quickly looked away.

"Hey, Mei-chan," the guy sitting next to the grumpy girl spoke, "He's just a kid leave him alone,"

The girl, Mei-chan as the guy had said, just stared at the broken lead. She looked like she was fixed on fixing the lead even though it was a lost cause.

"Um, I.. I was just going say that you were in the way," I stuttered.

The girls expression didn't change from a scowl. He blue haired guy just raised his eyebrows and said, "You know, you can just step over our bags. Unless you're too short to do so," he made an aching motion with his hands as he spoke.

It was now my turn to scowl, "Fuck you then, I was just trying to be polite," I said. I really hated people who acted just mocked me. So much for 'He's just a kid'.

"Whoa, no need to swear mate," the guy said. I just ignored him and kicked their bags to the side. I walked away at a brisk pace. I could hear the girl laughing as I swung the door shut. I hoped as long as I lived, I wouldn't have to see them again.

Rin floated beside me. She did twirls in the air and stuck her hands through passers by. Rin and I didn't usually talk to each other in school because of the amount of people around, but it was still nice to have her company.

"Was that girl eating lead?" It seemed like Rin had been thinking the same thing as me. I just shrugged. It was just another question that had been added to my list of questions that would always be left unanswered.

* * *

**~Author's Notes~**

**I hope you liked this chapter! I've finally introduced KAITO and MEIKO! Yay! I supose you guessed it was them, right? Well, there is a reason why Meiko was eating the led, but you'll find that out in the future.**

**Here's the website Piko uses, Sources: www . something-fishy whatarethey/ednos . php (without the spaces).  
I already knew about EDNOS but I wanted a clinical definition for it rather then my poor explaining. So I quoted the website directly.**

**On another note, you can find information about the book Len was talking aboit on Maggie Stiefvater's website. They're some of my favourite books! If you like werewolf or vampire romance which a difference then these are the books for you, they're really good.**

**Have fun reading.**

**Kushina chan  
xox**


	5. Important Note

**~Author's Notes~**

**Hello guys. I'm not sure how many of you are going to read this but I hope you do anyway.**

**I got my grades back for my exams today and I got the top mark for my English Literature which I was so proud of! It made me realise that I wasn't actually proud of many of my fanfictions and I feel like I've let many of my readers down by rushing my work so its not so good! I've re read my fanfictions and I realise I don't like plenty of them, this one was included.**

**I loved the idea of 'Ghost Sanctuary' when I first started writing it and I still do, but I feel like I can write it much much better which is why I'm going to discontinue this version. I might even change the name. I didn't even have much of a plan for this so I'm going to make a plan before I re upload it. I hope you as my readers are okay with that.**

**Sorry for this not actually being a chapter even though its been such a long time. I appreciated all the reviews! Thanks!**

**Kushina chan  
Xox**


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